One of the deepest of all the human hungers is the need to be understood, cherished, and honoured. Yet in the fast paced days we live in, too many people believe that listening involves nothing more than waiting for the other person to stop talking. And to make matters worse, while that person is speaking, we are all too often using that time to formulate our own response, rather than empathizing with the point being made.
Taking the time to truly understand another’s point of view shows that you value what he has to say and care about him as a person. When you start "getting behind the eyes balls; of the person how is speaking and try to see the world form his perspective, you will connect with him deeply and build high trust relationships that last.
We have two ears a done mouth for a reason: to listen twice as much as we speak. And having the courtesy to be a better listener has another advantage: Since you are not doing all the talking, you are doing all the learning, gaining access to information you would have missed had you been engaged in the usual monologue. Here are a few practical tips to become better at the art of listening:
1. If you are speaking and the person you are having a conversation with has not said something within the past 60 seconds, there is a good chance you have lost her and it’s time to stop talking so much.
2. Resist the temptation to interrupt. Catch yourself just before you do so and pay more attention to the content of what the other person is saying to you.
3. After the other person makes her points, rather than immediately responding with your opinion, reflect on what you have just heard. Saying something such as, Just to make sure I understand you, are you saying.....?" And doing so with complete sincerity will bring you much closer to the people you interact with every day of your life.
(Who will cry when you die - Robin Sharma)
